Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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