Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
