wanna go halves on a baby?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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