he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
