I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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