she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
