love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize