Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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