Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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