lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
