I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
