Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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