I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
