Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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