maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
