Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
ttyl tear gas
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
