she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
