the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
