we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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