i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
