It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
