Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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