whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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