We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
