im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Dick very happy bro
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize