it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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