it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
