I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
