To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
