dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
