When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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