I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
