She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
