Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
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