They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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