I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
