I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
