A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
