yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize