maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
