you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
