Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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