It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
