It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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