Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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