Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
