i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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