Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
