Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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