Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
