Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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