i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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