I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize