I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
