What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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