I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
