Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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