the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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