I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
