One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
