I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
