im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
