i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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