So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We're too hungover to prance.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
