is your mom at the bar?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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