Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My ass is underappreciated
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
