I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
